Enthusiasm, Joy and Acceptance
This was the magical concoction that changed my life. I was sitting in a therapist chair when this life formula was given to me. I vividly remember so many light bulbs turning on in my head.
In early recovery it’s really hard to determine when it is time to cut people, places, and/or things out of your life. Sometimes those people, places and things are your lifeline. Whether it is your job, your spouse, your kid, your best friend, or a random toxic relationship, this action is never easy. Sometimes, in fact most of the time, this doesn’t have to be permanent. Cutting out these toxic relationships creates a space to sit back and take a look at the dysfunction. Hindsight provides clarity. As you heal, improve self-awareness, grow, and find insight you will either A. have no interest in returning, or B. find a balance in that relationship that fosters healing with yourself and of the relationship with that person.
So…the formula. Imagine that really awful job you once had, or maybe have now. Imagine that best friend, or parent, or spouse that you can’t seem to find peace in the relationship with. Ask yourself, “Does this relationship…or thing, bring me enthusiasm? Does it bring me Joy?” If you’ve gotten to a point that you are questioning the relationship, the answer is often no. With a no you must ask yourself. “Can I ACCEPT that?” Once you have that answer all responsibility of pain and suffering falls back on you. YOU have the power to say NO I don’t accept that, and move along. However, if you have the capacity to say “Yes, I can accept that,” then all of a sudden the expectations of the other person disappear.
“If I choose to accept this relationship for what it is, I am practicing the simple concept of surrender. I stop expecting, I start to understand my role and power, and I start to understand my own creation of pain and suffering.”
Don’t get me wrong, cutting things out of your life can bring a whole new and different kind of pain, but we turned feelings of hopelessness into a situation of empowerment. The pain will turn into healing. You have taken a big step in taking back your life.
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